Date of Birth Used: 10 July 1995; 11 July 1995
Place of Birth: Hell
Nationality: ex-pat (but he vows he will return to Hell one day and will always vote for Satan)
Credibility: Not confirmed, but has been determined to be smaller than a blue smartie
Best Feature: Managing not to get fired due to underhand dealings
Aliases: Abu Bin Wankyn, Sleazy Ready, The EGO
Sex: No Chance.
Read has been reported fantasising about Mo Molem and has been indicted in the plot to discredit Gibraltar. Previous targets of abuse include the Queen Mother. He is believed to have had an relationship with a singing kitten. He is known to sleep with a loaded football.
Wanted by British Rail police in connection with travelling extensively throughout the United Kingdom without a ticket (2000). Suspected Everton supporter.
SHOULD BE CONSIDERED VERY STUPID AND IGNORANT
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