Jacko Straw Full Name: John Whitaker Straw Date of Birth: 3 April 1946 Place of Birth: Brentwood Essex Weight: Unknown Honesty: Unknown, but is a lawyer Aliases: Jack the RIPA Weasel Words Whitaker, Whacko Jacko CONSPIRACY TO SELL OUT BRITISH NATIONALS, TO RESTRICT FREEDOM TO PREVENT KEEPING PETS AND TO DESTROY THE UTILITIES OF THE UNITED KINGDOM REMARKS Jack has been reported behaving strangely outside Marks and Spencer in Blackburn. He is believed to have been associated with the eviction of council tennants for possession of dogs, pigeons, and large caged birds in the Democratic Republic of Islington, although he is known to like a little pussy. A school bully, he was recruited by CND at the age 12 and subsequently joined Nu-labor. Responsible for promoting the "Historic dirty deal between Britain and Spain" aka The biggest sell out since Railtrack. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL UNOFFICIAL EMBASSY OR CONSULATE.

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